Walking Onto Water
by wordlings
Summary: "The Lord looked out to the sea again. Peter looked as well, and suddenly there was the memory of water beneath his feet. He did not think of sinking. He thought of that unnameable feeling in his chest; it had carried him out onto the sea with his beloved master. It swelled within him now." -Some things don't require much thought. One-shot based on John chapter 21. Introspective.


Thank you in advance for reading.

I wrote this after finishing the Gospel of John and meditating on the exchange between Jesus and Peter. Peter has always been one of my favorite Biblical figures because of his passion, bravery and ability to learn from his mistakes. I imagine he was much like a younger brother to Jesus.

Unbeta'd. 1,100 words.

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John chapter 21

The light of morning was new born. It winked into existence above the waters of Tiberias as they lapped and reached and foamed onto the beach. The sand was chilled and there were breezes which brought sea air; there were birds of heaven calling loudly to one another above the shore; further up there was the soft crackling of a fire and around it a company of men. One of these was Peter, who sat nearest to the flame with palms out, since his clothes were still damp and dripped onto the sand.

If he were asked to explain, he could not rightly say why he threw himself into the sea. Happiness? Impatience? Faith? To put words to the feeling in his chest seemed impossible. He had simply acted without thought! In fact, his breath still caught at the knowledge that his master, The Lord, was with them once again! Such things did not _require_ much thought did they? Still, it seemed he was always the first to act, and not without consequences.

The things he had refused to think upon plagued him. His chill became unshakable, and he shifted closer to the fire.

"Peter", he heard someone call to him. He looked about him and saw it was The Lord. All the brothers gazed at him expectantly. The Lords expression, too, was expectant.

Peter rose to his feet.(He found himself breathless once again.)

The Lord beckoned him and he went with him without word to the far side of the beach. The stares of the disciples followed their backs. Of what could their Lord have to say to Peter?

When The Lord stopped Peter stopped up short behind him, lost to his thoughts. He had been so eager when he recognized his Lord upon the beach, that he acted foolishly. He knew the Lord to be patient, but his anxiety only grew. For many moments there was only the sound of Tiberias.

"Simon Son of John", the Lord began. Peter opened his mouth to reply, but the Lord had not finished. "Do you have love for me?"

Peter was dumbfounded. How could he ask such a question? The plaguing memories clenched his heart; he answered, "Yes!" and it was as a child's answer to a question they did not fully understand.

The Lord's gaze was not on him; it was distant, thoughtful (Of what could he be thinking?). But he smiled, evidently pleased, and walked further until they stopped beside their fishing nets. They still swelled with a great deal of fish. The Lord bent himself low to touch the netting. "More than these?" he asked.

Peter gave pause. He remembered the days and days of fishing, of gaining nothing for his toil, lowering the nets only to retrieve them empty and in need of cleaning. He remembered the feeling of awe, of unworthiness and respect as the same fish filled those barren nets to the brim, at the behest of one man. And again, he had done it this morning, as a kindness. Peter had seen so many of The Lord's works like these…how could he ever return to his life before? How could he ever simply catch fish?

At length he confessed, "Lord...you know I have affection for you".

His master stood, smiling kindly. The knots in Peter's chest loosened. Touching his arm, The Lord said "Feed my lambs", and Peter nodded without quite knowing what it meant.

They continued in companionable silence. The Lord rested his hand upon Peter's shoulder as they walked. He said again, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?"

Had he not answered well enough before? Was it a test? The answer came more firmly now, "Yes Lord! You know I have affection for you—"

"Then Shepherd my little sheep" Peter bit back his frustration. What did it mean? He could not form the question.

They stopped at the shores lining where the sand was wet and cool. The Lord stared at his hands; in turn Peter stared at The Lord. Those hands had done so many wonderful things, and would soon bring about an untold more.

Then The Lord looked at Peter. The Lord had never been a striking man; he was very ordinary by appearance, but then, in his eyes, there was a severity that pinned Peter to the earth. The disciple faltered in his gaze. His heart became a stone that weighed down his limbs until he felt them dragging, tugging him out into the cold waters lapping at his feet. How could he have disowned this man? Peter despaired.

The Lord grasped him by the neck as if to lift him from this despair. "Simon, son of John!" he said again, and it was a command to look at him, to leave his disparaging thoughts. "Do you have affection for me?"

Oh, how this grieved him. Had The Lord not believed him, twice before? (But there was no unkindness in his face!) Had he fallen too far to ever be convincing? (But there was no accusation in his face!) Deeper still, could The Lord not simply see into his heart?

Without thought, Peter gripped the forearm of his Lord, who still held his neck fast, and said, "_Lord_..."

He clenched his teeth in a struggle for more words. But The Lord was patient. He did not once prompt him to speak. (And wasn't there a feeling behind his gaze, one of encouragement, one that did not doubt Peter's answer, only asked for it to be spoken?)

The Lord looked out to the sea again. Peter looked as well, and suddenly there was the memory of water beneath his feet. He did not think of sinking. He thought of that unnameable feeling in his chest; it had carried him out onto the sea with his beloved master. It swelled within him now.

He turned to The Lord. "You know all things", he said with conviction. "You are aware of my affection for you!"

The Lord turned to him. "Then feed my little sheep" he replied.

Peter still did not understand. But, such things did not _require_ much thought, did they? So he gripped his forearm more firmly, and The Lord responded in kind with a smile as bright as the newborn morning; and there was love, and friendship, and faith in their grasp.

Peter suddenly felt like laughing. He thought in that moment he should tell him that he would follow him forever. But Jesus released him and walked ahead without beckoning, and Peter realized, he already knew.


End file.
